MY PAST IS MY DRIVING FORCE

I am a single mom. I take pride of being one.

Yes, I made a terrible mistake. I sure messed up and I acknowledge it with downright humility. I am not proud of having committed a huge offense against my family. It was all wrong. But I am proud I took courage to face the painful consequences. 

I was not an extraordinary student. But coming from a science high school and a top-tier university has earned me high expectations from people. Suddenly, all those praises were reduced to snide remarks. From "ang galing" to "sayang"; hope to failure. Believe me, I've heard all other synonyms. And I cried my way through it.

I cried because it hurt. Never was I weak.

CHANGE OF HEART

With all honesty, I had no idea what niche to tackle when I started this blog. I just wanted to do it. Period.

The first few posts were a mix of food and fashion. But the latter was more evident considering most in my network are on it. But then, the fire burned out. See, I am no hardcore fashionista. Don't get me wrong, I love fashion;  it's just that my daily life doesn't reflect it. In fact, I am happy with the regular flats-shorts-top combo. I don't even like wearing earrings or any accessories on a daily basis. I am not the type who loves posting OOTDs either. I doll up only when I need to. And since I don't even shop for clothes regularly, I eventually ran out of stuff to post.

I went on blogging, anyway.  Good thing there's liberty in blogging. You have the freedom to blog whatever comes to mind. You don't have to ask anyone about what you should put up in your blog because it's all yours to manage! It basically reflects your interests and how you are as a person. You voice out to the world whatever it is that you find worth sharing.

THREE THINGS: WHAT I LOVE MOST ABOUT MYSELF

I read a post from Zoe's blog the other day. Toward the end of her post she asked her readers to share three things they like most about themselves. I really love the entirety of the post that I immediately posted a comment mentioning 3 things I like most about myself. Then it hit me, it's pretty interesting to blog about! It may sound self absorbed but, trust me, it's not. Point is, we should at least learn how to appreciate ourselves.

This goes out to everyone who feels inadequate. You probably feel so because you tend to focus on what you lack. Try acknowledging your strengths. Remind yourself of these things when you feel like you're about to go on a downward spiral. Hold on to these things and make them flourish. Even if other people find it weird, if it makes you beam on the inside, embrace it.

TO THE ONE WITH CALLOUSED KNEES

You trip, you bruise and skin your knees. You hate to look at yourself in the mirror for falling time and again. You feel ashamed of how bad you look. You feel small and rugged. 

But please, don't yield.

Given that you're not as equipped as others, nor as well-assisted; you know there is no better way of learning than this. You have to struggle your way up, tread on mud and rocks alike, if you must. For in life, there are no shortcuts as nothing's instant.

Continue pushing even if it means staggering and falling for a few more miles. Had the road been any easier, people would not have bled buckets to get there. Save all your energy in fueling such desire. Be grateful for the hardships and learn from them. Because one day, your experiences will be your biggest ally and those calloused knees will make the toughest shield.

TALK TO PEOPLE WHO MATTER

Going past the crossroads or surpassing any crisis in general requires different mechanisms from us. Our attack would basically depend on our personality.

As for me, I find communicating my worries the most liberating. The relief that it brings usually gives the toughest blow to my predicament. So at times when my mind is troubled and cloudy, my first instinct is to vent out to my chosen few. I don't keep it bottled inside as its never healthy. The longer you keep it, the faster it kills.

However, I take precaution on who to talk to. Issues about trust must never be overlooked. Talking to just anyone could leave you vulnerable; be wise enough to choose. When you pour all your worries, make sure you get something positive in return. And I don't mean sugar-coated words, but that powerful boost you get through meaningful advice. Hearing comforting words is good, but listening to wise words that could help you ponder further is by far the best.

So as promised, here are the people whose mere words and existence propelled my spirit out that grievous pit.